A Letter to Your Friends & Family You Could Have Written Yourself

I have written a letter from a believer’s perspective, describing what recovery might look like. I want you to be able to understand that there’s a common thread in every believer who goes through this holy road. Family and friends often don’t or can’t understand what you’re going through as there are many hills and valleys.

Recovery from addiction is a holy road that may have some unforeseen obstacles. Some who take this road find it scenic and enjoyable because they feel relief that the worst is over. Occasionally, some may feel more like it’s a battlefield… mainly because of the reaction they get from friends and family. It seems like the hopeless 12-step community has caused this because they teach a disease theory and not the truth of addiction being able to be totally and completely healed by our Savior who heals us. His Name is Jesus Christ. My hope is that you either know Him, or want to know Him. That all said, here’s a sample letter that just could have been written by you!

Dear Friends & Family,

As I walk this holy road, leaning on God’s grace and the promise of renewal, I’ve come to realize something that is both beautiful and sad. It’s about how others treat me during my recovery that can either lift me up and be a strong catalyst to my healing, or, have the effect of pushing me back into the dark shadows of my mind. As you know, I’m not perfect… no one is; however, just as I don’t expect perfection from those around me, please don’t expect perfection from me. Through the peace and wisdom of Jesus Christ and Scripture, I’ve found a few ways I long to be treated as I recover—ways that reflect the heart of Christ and offer hope to anyone fighting this fight like I am.

First of all, please treat me with compassion, not condemnation or doubt. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). These words in my Bible are a lifeline for me. Addiction often comes with a heavy cloak of guilt and shame, which I’ve worn for far too long. When you look at me, I pray you see someone God has redeemed and re-creating, not someone defined by my past. I don’t need lectures about where I’ve been, I’m already wrestling with that. What I need is encouragement on where the Lord is taking me. Your kindness, a gentle word, or even a quiet presence that says, “I see you, and I believe in who you’re becoming” would mean so much to me.

Jesus met the woman caught in adultery with compassion, not stones (John 8:1-11). He didn’t excuse her sin, but He didn’t crush her spirit either. That’s how I want to be treated: with an unconditional love that acknowledges my struggle without writing me off.

I truly need you to offer me grace, not judgment. I’m not always going to get it right. Some days, I may stumble and beat myself up. When that happens, please help me get back on trackk by encouraging me and sharing Bible verses that will strengthen me. I hurts deeply when you point out my failures… I’m already painfully aware of them. What I need is grace, the same grace God extends to me daily. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8). If God doesn’t give up on me, I hope that you trust God and me enough to not give up on me either.

Grace doesn’t mean ignoring the mess. It means loving me through it, pumping me up with God’s Word, and trusting that Jesus is always working in me even when progress feels slow. His timing is perfect.

3. Encourage Me with Truth, Not Platitudes

Please encourage me with Truth, not platitudes. “Just pray harder” or “God won’t give you more than you can handle” might sound nice, but those words are offensive to me because they cast blame on me. I can’t walk this road any faster than God allows. What I want and need is encouragement rooted in real, biblical truth—like Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”. Tell me God is close when I can’t feel Him. Remind me that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Give me something solid to hold onto when my hands are shaking and my heart feels like it’s trembling. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Leave the ‘fixing’ to Jesus. I just need you to walk alongside me. I know you want to help, and I’m grateful for that; however, I’m not a project to be solved or a problem to be fixed by any human. I’m a person God Himself is reshaping. Recovery isn’t a straight line, and it’s not something you can rush. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”. Walk beside me. Listen when I need to talk. Pray with me when words fail. Your presence means so much more.

5. Celebrate My Wins, No Matter How Small

Celebrate my wins, even if they are tiny. Every day I choose Jesus Christ to heal me is a victory. Every time I turn to God instead of my old habits, it’s a step forward. It might not look dramatic to you, but to me, it’s a miracle. “Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15) isn’t just for big moments… it’s for the quiet ones too. A kind word, saying “I’m proud of you,” or a shared prayer of thanks will fuel my ability to keep moving forward in Christ.

Above all, please try your hardest to see me as God does. I want to be treated as a child of God… flawed, yes, but fiercely loved. My former addiction doesn’t erase my identity in Christ. “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). When you treat me with that kind of unconditional love, you remind me who I am and Who I serve.

Recovery is hard, but it’s holy work. Join me as I navigate this holy road, moment by moment. So please, treat me with the same mercy, kindness, and hope that Jesus offers. That’s how I’ll make it through. I want you to be a catalyst in this amazing journey to total freedom.

With the Love of Jesus, ‘Me’.

Have a blessed rest of your day! Consider memorizing 1 Corinthians 15:58 which says, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is NOT in vain.” Hope to see you in my next post. Bye for now.

If you don’t know Jesus and the POWER of His blood for your life, please go to my contact page and let me know if you want to know Him. I’ll tell you what to do.