“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5–6 (ESV)
One of the hardest truths in recovery is this: we are not in control. The illusion of control often leads us deeper into addiction, dysfunction, and self-destruction. Whether we tried to control our pain, our image, or even other people, it was exhausting and ultimately futile. Recovery begins with surrender—not weakness, but courageous trust in God’s power to lead us.
1. The Root of Control: Fear and Pride
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” — James 4:6
Control often comes from fear… fear of getting hurt, being abandoned, or being exposed. It also comes from pride… the belief that we know best. But both of these deny God’s sovereignty. The first step toward healing is humility: admitting we’re not God.
Reflective Questions:
What fears drive your need to control?
In what ways has pride played a role in your struggle?
2. Jesus’ Example of Surrender
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” — Luke 22:42
Even Jesus, facing the cross, modeled what true surrender looks like. He trusted the Father’s will, even in suffering. In recovery, we learn to say, “Not my will, but Yours be done,” trusting that God’s plans are always better, even when they’re hard or unkown.
Reflection Questions:
What would it look like for you to surrender your situation to God today?
Are there areas in your recovery where you’re still holding the reins?
3. God’s Sovereignty Brings Peace
“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10a
The peace we crave doesn’t come from controlling everything… it comes from trusting the One who controls it all. Recovery is not about gaining control again, but about resting in the fact that God is in control, and He is good.
Reflection Questions:
When do you feel most anxious or out of control?
How does remembering God’s sovereignty help you breathe and rest?
4. Living by the Spirit, Not by Control
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.” — Romans 8:5
When we let the Holy Spirit guide us, we live by His strength, not our striving. Recovery means walking by the Spirit at all time, daily surrender and submission to God, daily trust, and daily obedience.
Practical Step: Each morning, start with a prayer of surrender. Say, “Holy Spirit of God, I give You control today. Help me trust and obey You.”
Self Coaching Questions
🧠 Awareness & Insight
When you think about “control,” what does it mean to you personally?
In what areas of your life are you most tempted to take control rather than trust God?
How has your need for control affected your relationships, your recovery, or your walk with God?
What do you fear would happen if you truly let go and trusted God fully?
Can you identify moments in the past when your need for control led to harm or regret?
💔 Heart & Healing
What wound or insecurity might be fueling your desire to stay in control?
How does surrendering control to God challenge your identity or sense of safety?
What area(s) do you feel God is inviting you to lay down control over today?
What is one lie you’ve believed about who you are or who God is, that might be related to control?
How can you begin to replace that lie with a truth from Scripture?
🙌 Surrender & Trust
What would it look like to say, “Not my will, but Yours be done,” in your current situation?
In what ways are you willing to trust that God’s plan, though different from yours, is ultimately for your good?
What does healthy surrender look like in practical, everyday terms for you?
What’s one thing you can entrust to God today as a step of surrender to Him?
How might your life begin to change if you truly embraced God’s control over your own?
🔄 Action & Accountability
What spiritual disciplines can help you practice surrender (e.g., prayer, fasting, journaling, etc)?
Who in your life can help hold you accountable as you give up control?
What boundaries can you set to stop trying to fix or control others?
What would it look like to walk in His Spirit rather than react in fear or control?
How will you remind yourself daily that God is in control and that He is trustworthy?
Prayer
“Lord God, I confess that I have tried to control what only You can handle. I give You my fears, my plans, my future, and my recovery. Teach me to trust You more. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and help me walk in obedience, not control. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Have a blessed rest of your day as you relinquish control to Jesus!
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