Navigating the Chaotic Insanity of a Loved One in an Active Addiction

Watching a loved one battle addiction can feel like being swept up by a funnel cloud in a tornado that won’t let you go. The confusion, heartbreak, and sheer insanity of it all can leave you feeling helpless. There IS hope — and there are steps you can take to anchor yourself in God’s truth and love, even amidst the insanity.

1. Understand the Nature of Addiction

Please believe me when I tell you that addiction is a spiritual battle much more than it is physical or emotional one. It distorts reality and enslaves the person you love, often leading to choices that absolutely defy logic and deeply wound the family. While it’s easy to take their actions personally, remind yourself that addiction drives them, not who they truly are in Christ. Addiction is a demonic spirit that either controls them or inhabits them.

Scripture reminds us in Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Your loved one is trapped in a spiritual stronghold that only Jesus Christ can break once your loved one comes to Him and makes the right choice.

2. Surrender Them to God

One of the hardest truths to accept is that you cannot save them. Only God can. Your role is to pray without ceasing and trust in His power to rescue them. This may require surrendering your need to control the situation.

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Lay your burdens—and your loved one—at His feet. Pray specifically and persistently, trusting that God hears your cries. Just remember that it’s your loved one that must make the right choice. God is a ‘gentleman’ and always gives all of us a choice. It’s called, ‘free will’.

3. Set Boundaries with Love

Loving someone in an active addiction doesn’t mean enabling their behavior. Boundaries are vital. Never think of those boundaries as abusive, they can be a life-saving expression of ‘tough’ love. They allow your loved one to experience the consequences of their actions—a critical step toward change.

Consider the father in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15). He allowed his son to leave, make mistakes, and hit rock bottom. But he also watched and waited with open arms, ready to welcome him back when the time came. Healthy boundaries say, “I love you, but I will not support choices that harm you or others.”

4. Take Steps to Get Them into Detox

While you can’t force someone to change, there are practical steps you can take to help your loved one begin the recovery process, starting with detox.

a. Research Detox Centers
Look for local detox centers, rehabs, or Christian recovery programs. Call ahead to understand their admission process, requirements, and costs. Some centers offer scholarships or sliding-scale fees, so be sure to ask.

b. Have an Honest Conversation
Believe it or not, the best time to talk with your loved one is when they have just used and are calmer. So, in this state of being, have an honest conversation with them about their addiction. If they are starting to go into withdrawal, they can’t hear you. Their focus becomes hunting down drugs. When you talk to them, use “I” statements to express your concerns, such as, “I’m worried about your health, and I love you too much to watch this destroy you.” Avoid accusations, as they can easily and quickly distance your loved on. Accusatory statements begin with ‘you’, so don’t do it.

c. Stage an Intervention (If needed and if you can)
If your loved one refuses help, consider staging a formal intervention with close family members, friends, or a trained interventionist. This structured approach can encourage them to see the severity of their addiction and accept help. Bear in mind that it MUST be done properly and at the right moment. If you do this without a trained interventionist, it could be explosive and accomplish nothing.

d. Prepare for Immediate Action
Once your loved one agrees to detox, act quickly. Addiction thrives on delay, so having everything ready (transportation, admission paperwork, etc.) is of the utmost importance. Be prepared to take them directly to the facility as soon as they agree.

e. Lean on Professional Help
If you’re unsure where to start, consult with addiction counselors, coaches, pastors, or organizations. They can guide you through the process and may be able to connect you with resources.

5. Find Support

You cannot walk this journey alone. Seek out a Christ-centered support. Being surrounded by others who understand your pain and share your faith can bring immense comfort and wisdom.

As Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” God designed us to live in community, and He often works through others to strengthen and encourage us.

6. Anchor Yourself in God’s Promises

The chaos of addiction can make it feel like everything is falling apart. Remember that God is still in control. Meditate on His promises daily. Let His Word be your moment to moment refuge and guide.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Even in the darkest moments, He is with you, offering comfort and strength.

7. Release the Outcome

Finally, release the outcome to God. Whether your loved one finds freedom or not, remember that their journey is ultimately between them and the Lord. Trust in His perfect plan, even when you cannot see it.

In Romans 8:28, we are reminded, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Encouragement

The road of loving someone in active addiction is exhausting, heartbreaking, and overwhelming. But you are not alone. God sees your pain, hears your prayers, and walks with you every step of the way. Cling to Him, set healthy boundaries, and trust His power to bring redemption, no matter how impossible it may seem.

You are loved, and your family is held in His mighty hands.

Have a blessed rest of your day! If you have a loved one in an addiction, don’t wait! Hoping to see you on my next post. Bye for now!