People Pleasing VS God Pleasing

During recovery, the word no can feel like a concrete wall. It’s hard, immovable, and cold. But what if we could think of no as a door through which we could find freedom? Perhaps, yes became a survival tool for you. When you say yes to people, to substances, to expectations., it’s not because you are or were weak. It’s because we were or are broken…. wounded. You feared rejection, conflict, abandonment. Your boundaries were not broken by selfishness but by self-preservation. Yet in Christ, we are not called to live enslaved by fear. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). That means saying no isn’t selfish… it’s holy. ‘Holy’ means set apart for God.

Saying no is not a denial of love; it’s a declaration of dignity. It’s the strength to guard what God is doing in you. Scripture tells us, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23). Recovery is not all about becoming useful again… it’s about becoming whole. And that wholeness often begins with a simple, holy no. You are not required to carry every burden, attend every meeting, answer every call. You are not the savior! Jesus is. He says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Part of receiving that rest is learning to say no to the things that drain you so you can say yes to the things that leads to your restoration.

Even Jesus said no. He walked away from crowds, withdrew to pray, disappointed the expectations of others… not out of pride or avoidance, but out of alignment with our Heavenly Father. “The Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do” (John 5:19a). His no was rooted in obedience, not rebellion. And in your recovery, and thereafter, your no can be the same. You’re not just turning things down, you’re turning toward God. As Psalm 23:3 reminds us, “He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

Let your no be strong but not harsh or hateful. Let it come from a heart aligned with God, not from bitterness or fear. Let it be spoken with reverence for your calling, your healing, and our God. Jesus taught, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; for whatever is more than these is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37). Your no matters. It is a holy boundary. It’s the voice of a soul no longer enslaved to people-pleasing or addiction, but now free in Christ.

Today, ask the Lord where He is calling you to say no… not out of guilt or shame, but out of devotion to Himself. Every no that is aligned with Him becomes a yes to His will, His peace, and His purpose in your life. And that, my dear friend, is recovery in its purest form.

Questions of Reflection for your Journal

The Holy Strength of Saying No

1. Where in my life do I feel stretched too thin, and why do I keep saying yes to those things?
   What fear or belief might be driving those decisions? Ask God to reveal the root.
2. What is one recent moment when I said “yes” but knew I should have said “no”?
   How did that decision affect my peace, energy, or sense of alignment with God?
3. Read Proverbs 4:23 — “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
   What boundaries might I need to put in place to better guard my heart in this season?
4. What does it look like to say “no” with kindness, clarity, and courage in my relationships?
   Write out a practice response or boundary statement that reflects both truth and love.
5. Reflect on Jesus’ example in John 5:19. Please look it up in you Bible.
   Where might I need to pause and ask the Father, “Is this Your will for me?” before responding to a request or opportunity?
6. What am I afraid will happen if I start saying “no” more often?
   Bring that fear into prayer and ask God for truth in exchange.
7. How does saying “no” actually help me say “yes” to God’s restoration in my life?
   List three ways your healing could grow stronger through better boundaries.
8. Write a prayer asking God to help you speak both “yes” and “no” from a place of spiritual freedom and wisdom.

Have a blessed rest of your day. Begin today to say no to someone when you know God wants you to say yes.