Self-Harm: A Message for You

If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you’ve struggled with self-harm, or someone close to you has. And I want to begin by saying this:

You are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not beyond healing.

In my coaching practice, we talk a lot about Jesus as our Healer… the One who breaks addiction, shame, and cycles of destruction. Sometimes that destruction turns inward. Sometimes, when the pain feels unbearable or the shame is suffocating, people try to feel something, release something, or punish themselves by hurting their own bodies.

If that’s something you’ve done, or are tempted to do, please hear me:
Jesus does not condemn you. He wants to heal you.

What Is Self-Harm?

Self-harm is any intentional injury you cause to your body. This could be cutting, scratching, burning, hitting yourself, starving, or even putting yourself in reckless situations. Many people who are recovering from addiction or trauma don’t realize they’re also wrestling with this.

Underneath self-harm is often the same root as addiction:

• Pain that hasn’t been dealt with
• Emotions that feel too big to handle
• Lies that say “I’m worthless,” “I deserve this,” or “I’ll never be free”

Self-harm is a form of bondage. But the good news? Jesus breaks every chain.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me… to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.” (Isaiah 61:1)

Why Does God Care About This?

Jesus cares because you truly matter to Him.

Your body is not trash. Your life is not an accident. You are not disposable. You are made in the image of God, bought with the blood of Jesus, and called to walk in freedom, not shame.

“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

When God looks at you, He doesn’t see a person who needs punishment. He sees someone He wants to restore. He doesn’t flinch at your scars. In fact, Jesus has scars too. His scars are proof of His love for you.

What Can You Do Right Now?

The aim is not for instant surface-level change. We’re going for heart transformation. So if self-harm is part of your past or present, here are some practical and spiritual steps to begin walking in healing:

1. Be Honest With God, Yourself, and Your Coach, or Counselor

Don’t hide. You’re not too far gone, and you won’t be judged. Bringing it into the light is the first step to freedom.

“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

2. Break the Agreement You Made With the Lies You Believe

Self-harm is often rooted in believing a lie about yourself. If I were your coach, together we would work on identifying those lies and replace them with God’s truth. For example:

Lie: “I deserve pain.”
Truth: “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

Lie: “I’ll never be free.”
Truth: “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

3. Remove the Tools, Set the Boundaries

Freedom often starts with cutting off access. If there are tools, objects, or behaviors that tempt you, let’s talk about how to remove them safely and spiritually.

4. Replace Harm With Healing Habits

God gave you emotions. You’re allowed to feel, but not everything you feel needs to control you. Let’s find new, healthy outlets:

• Writing or journaling your prayers
• Reading Scripture out loud
• Listening to worship music
• Crying before God… it’s holy, not weak, and it leads you to His strength
• Reaching out to someone before the urge grows

5. Give Yourself Grace As You Grow

Healing isn’t always instant, but it is always available. If you slip, you’re not starting over… you’re stepping forward again, hand in hand with Jesus.

You Are Not a Lost Cause

Your identity is not “self-harmer,” “addict,” “relapse risk,” or “too broken.”

In Christ, your identity is:

• Redeemed
• Loved
• Whole
• Free

And that’s the direction you’re going. I’m hoping you’re traveling this road with a recovery coach to walk alongside you. Your strength is in the Lord because Jesus already won the battle. You just have to keep showing up… keep reading His Word… keep praying… and keep letting Him do the work.

Your Next Step

Let your coach, counselor, or mentor walk with you, pray for you, and speak truth over your life. Pray, plan, and pursue healing together.

You were made for more than surviving.
You were made for freedom.

Questions for You to Answer in Your Journa

🕊️ 1. Be Honest With God

“Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” —Psalm 62:8

• What emotions usually come right before the urge to self-harm?
• What are some situations or memories that trigger these feelings?
• When did you first start turning inward with pain, and why do you think that happened?

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✝️ 2. Name the Lies, Declare the Truth

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” —John 8:32

• What lies do you find yourself believing about your worth?
• Write them out clearly. Then, write a Bible verse that speaks the opposite truth.
• How would your life look if you truly believed what God says about you?

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🙏 3. Talk to Jesus About Your Pain

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” —1 Peter 5:7

• Write a letter to Jesus explaining your pain, your struggle, and your desire to heal.
• What do you need from Him right now? Comfort? Strength? Forgiveness?
• How do you think Jesus sees you in your lowest moments?

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💡 4. Recognize the Pattern

“Let us throw off everything that hinders… and run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” —Hebrews 12:1

• What specific tools or actions do you turn to in moments of self-harm temptation?
• What are your “early warning signs” (emotional, physical, spiritual)?
• What could you put in place to interrupt that pattern before it starts?

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🧩 5. Build a New Identity

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” —2 Corinthians 5:17

• Who are you in Christ? List 5 truths about your identity in Him.
• What would a “healed version” of you think, feel, or do when pain comes?
• What would freedom from self-harm look like in your daily life?

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📖 6. Hope for the Future

“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord… “plans to give you hope and a future.” —Jeremiah 29:11

• What kind of life are you working toward in your recovery?
• If you trusted God fully with this area, what would be possible?
• How has God already brought you through dark places before?

Have a blessed rest of your day! Please leave your comments.