The Prayer He Couldn’t Say

A RANDOM LETTER ABOUT HAVING TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM TO COME TO TRUE FAITH

I never thought I would end up here… alone, broken, and drowning in the wreckage of my own choices. Addiction had stolen everything from me… my dignity, my relationships, my peace. I was at the end of myself. I had tried to fix myself more times than I could count. I had promised to do better, to quit for good, to be the person I once was. But every time I thought I had control, the grip of addiction tightened until I realized it was squeezing me to death. It was only at rock bottom, when I had no strength left to fight, that I realized I had been missing the one thing that could truly save me… Jesus Christ.

For a long time, I either refused to pray or felt my prayers wouldn’t be heard. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe in God, but because I believed He wouldn’t want anything to do with someone like me. I had wasted too many chances, broken too many promises. I had convinced myself that I was beyond redemption, that my sins were too great to be forgiven. But in my darkest moment, when I had nowhere left to turn, I finally whispered the words I had been too ashamed to say: “God, help me.”

The Weight of Rock Bottom

Rock bottom looks different for everyone, but for me, it was the day I realized I couldn’t keep living like this. The people who had once tried to help me had given up, not because they didn’t care anymore – they couldn’t invest in caring because they couldn’t save me from myself. I was exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Proverbs 14:12 came to mind: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” My way had led me to nothing but destruction. No matter how much I tried to justify my actions, I couldn’t escape the truth. I was lost in a deep grave I dug myself.

I had spent years trying to fix myself, thinking that if I just had enough willpower, I could stop. Addiction doesn’t work that way. It isn’t just a bad habit… it’s a very dark spiritual battle. And I had been trying to fight it on my own strength rather than Jesus.

The Moment of Surrender

When I finally prayed, it wasn’t a long, well-thought-out prayer. It wasn’t full of eloquent words or religious phrases. It was raw. It was desperate. It was honest. And for the first time in my life, I wasn’t asking God to help me do things my way. I was asking Him to take me over completely.

Psalm 34:17-18 says, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” That was me! I was crushed in spirit, brokenhearted, and in desperate need of saving. And God, in His mercy, met me right there in the very mess I had made.

I had been afraid to pray because I thought I needed to clean myself up first. But the truth is, I couldn’t clean myself up. I needed Jesus to do that. Romans 5:8 reminds us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I didn’t have to fix myself to come to God; I just had to come to Him as I was.

The Road Back to Faith

Surrendering to God didn’t mean everything changed overnight. I still had battles to fight, wounds to heal, and consequences to face. But I wasn’t fighting alone anymore. Every day, I had to choose to trust Him. When I weaved in and out of struggles, I prayed. When shame tried to drag me back down, I reminded myself of 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

God wasn’t just helping me recover—He was making me new. He was teaching me that recovery wasn’t just about sobriety; it was about transformation. It was about learning to rely on Him instead of my own strength. It was about discovering that my identity wasn’t in my past mistakes but in who He said I was.

The Prayer That Changed Everything

“The prayer I couldn’t say for so long was the one that changed everything: “God, I can’t do this without You.” Those simple words broke the chains I had been carrying for years. They opened the door for true healing, the kind that only comes from Jesus.

Maybe you’re at rock bottom right now, feeling like you’re too far gone. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that God doesn’t want someone like you. But I promise you, He does. He’s been waiting for you to turn to Him, just like He was waiting for me.

Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” You don’t have to be afraid to pray. You don’t have to have the right words. You just have to come to Him, as broken as you are, and let Him do the rest.

I never thought I would find freedom. I never thought I would find peace; but I did when I finally said the prayer I had been too ashamed to say. And if He did it for me, He can do it for you too.

What’s YOUR Story? Drop it in the comments or contact me with permission to print it here and I will.

Have a blessed rest of your day knowing that Jesus Christ is waiting for you to come to Him and that He will meet you exactlyi where you are. Come to Him now. Hope to see you in my next post. Bye for now!

RANDOM