Why Jesus Answered Questions With Questions and Why Your Recovery Coach Does Too

“But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, ‘Why do you think evil in your hearts?’” – Matthew 9:4

When you come to Christ, especially in the brokenness of addiction and the exhaustion of failed efforts, you often want one thing: direct answers. You want to know what to do, what to fix, and how to change. And yet, as we read the Gospels, we find something almost shocking! When people asked Jesus questions, He didn’t always give direct answers. In fact, He most often answered with more questions... questions that made people really think.

This was not avoidance. This was God’s strategy. Jesus wasn’t in the business of offering quick fixes. He was in the business of revealing truth, prompting repentance, and drawing people into personal transformation. And today, trained Christian recovery coaches follow His example.

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Part 1: Jesus, the Master Coach

Jesus asked over 300 questions in the Gospels… not at all because He was not insecure or uninformed. He was intentional. His questions reached beyond the surface into the soul. Here are just a few examples:

• “Do you want to be healed?” (John 5:6)
• “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15)
• “Why are you so afraid?” (Mark 4:40)
• “What do you want me to do for you?” (Luke 18:41)
• “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” (Luke 6:46)

Each question was a mirror, revealing the inner condition of the person’s heart. Jesus wasn’t just addressing behavior, He was targeting belief systems, false identities, wounds, and pride. He was inviting ownership, not just deliverance.

In recovery, we must move beyond symptoms (the drinking, using, lying, or running) and confront the roots… the pain, the lies, the idols. Jesus’ questions get us there.

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Part 2: Why Coaches Imitate Christ

A well-trained Christian recovery coach won’t simply tell you what to do. Why? Because advice doesn’t transform people… self revelation does.

Coaches ask questions like:

• “What did you believe about yourself in that moment?”
• “When did you first start believing that lie?”
• “How do you think God sees this situation, according to Scripture?”
• “What does freedom actually look like for you?”

These questions are not meant to frustrate you; they’re designed to activate you. Your coach, guided by the Holy Spirit, isn’t trying to control your journey… they’re trying to awaken your heart to take responsibility, reflect, and respond to God’s call.

In Proverbs 20:5 we read:
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.”

That’s what your coach is doing. He or she is drawing out the deep places in you that need truth, healing, and surrender.

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Part 3: Questions Invite Ownership

One of the most dangerous mentalities in addiction is passivity… the idea that someone or something outside of us must rescue us. While it’s true that we need help, and we desperately need God’s grace, the Bible also calls us to walk in obedience, to renew our minds, and to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

Jesus didn’t drag people into change. He invited them.

He asked:

• “Do you want to be well?”
• “What do you want Me to do?”
• “Why did you doubt?”

These questions required the listener to look inward and choose to move forward. Jesus extended healing, but He also honored personal agency. That’s what recovery coaching does—it offers guidance, grace, and accountability—but it leaves you with the responsibility to act.

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Part 4: Discomfort Leads to Breakthrough

Let’s be honest: being asked hard questions can be uncomfortable. We may feel exposed, frustrated, or even defensive. But this is often where the real growth happens.

Hebrews 4:12 says:
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword… discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Questions, when rooted in God’s Word and led by His Spirit, function like a scalpel. They cut away confusion and bring clarity. They expose what’s real and what’s false. They prepare you for a new life built on truth.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable in a session, don’t run. That tension is often the Holy Spirit at work, pressing on something that needs to be healed or surrendered.

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Part 5: What to Do with the Questions

Here’s how to respond when your coach (or the Lord) asks a challenging question:

1. Pause – Don’t rush to answer. Reflect deeply.
2. Pray – Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what’s really going on beneath the surface.
3. Journal – Write out your thoughts, emotions, and insights.
4. Respond Honestly – This is your journey. No one else can walk it for you.
5. Take Action – Truth must lead to transformation. Obedience matters.

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Final Words: The Road to Freedom is Paved with Questions

Recovery is not just about behavior modification. It’s about transformation of the heart, mind, and spirit. Jesus asks questions not because He doesn’t know the answers—but because He wants you to know the truth.

When your coach asks questions, it’s not to interrogate you—but to invite you into deeper freedom.

So don’t despise the questions. Embrace them.

Because every question is an open door—and Jesus is standing on the other side, ready to lead you into new life.

Self Reflection Questions for Your Journal:

• What’s a question Jesus has been asking you lately?
• Which question from this article challenged you the most?
• How can you begin to sit with the uncomfortable questions and let God speak?

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A Background on Coaching and Questions

Coaching questions are designed to facilitate self-discovery, reflection, and action for the you. They can be grouped into several categories based on their purpose and the type of thinking they elicit. Below is a comprehensive breakdown of the different types of coaching questions, organized by their categories, with brief explanations:

1. Open-Ended Questions

These questions encourage exploration, reflection, and detailed responses, fostering deeper thinking.

• Purpose: To stimulate broad thinking and uncover insights.
• Examples:
  • What do you want to achieve in this situation?
  • How do you feel about the current challenges you’re facing?
  • What possibilities do you see for moving forward?
• Use: To open dialogue, build rapport, and encourage you to share freely.

2. Closed Questions

These questions typically elicit a yes/no or specific answer and are used very, very sparingly to clarify or confirm details.

• Purpose: To gather specific information or confirm understanding.
• Examples:
  • Have you tried this approach before?
  • Is this goal a priority for you right now?
  • Did you complete the action you planned last session?
• Use: To focus the conversation or verify facts, but overused can limit exploration.

3. Probing Questions

These dig deeper into a topic to uncover underlying thoughts, feelings, or motivations.

• Purpose: To gain clarity, challenge assumptions, or explore details.
• Examples:
  • What makes this goal important to you?
  • Can you tell me more about why you feel this way?
  • What’s holding you back from taking that step?
• Use: To encourage deeper reflection or uncover hidden barriers.

4. Reflective Questions

These prompt you to reflect on your experiences, behaviors, or emotions.

• Purpose: To promote self-awareness and insight.
• Examples:
  • What did you learn from that experience?
  • How did you handle a similar situation in the past?
  • What does this situation tell you about yourself?
• Use: To help you connect past experiences to current challenges.

5. Goal-Oriented Questions

These focus on defining, clarifying, or planning toward specific objectives.

• Purpose: To establish clear goals and actionable steps.
• Examples:
  • What would success look like for you in this area?
  • What’s the first step you can take toward this goal?
  • How will you know when you’ve achieved this?
• Use: To align your actions with your desired outcomes.

6. Solution-Focused Questions

These encourage you to think about solutions and possibilities rather than dwelling on your problems.

• Purpose: To shift focus to proactive thinking and resourcefulness.
• Examples:
  • What’s one thing you could do differently to improve this situation?
  • What strengths can you leverage to address this challenge?
  • If this obstacle didn’t exist, what would you do next?
• Use: To foster optimism and empower you to take action.

7. Challenging Questions

These push you to confront assumptions, limiting beliefs, or inconsistencies.

• Purpose: To provoke critical thinking and growth.
• Examples:
  • What’s stopping you from seeing this differently?
  • How might your assumption be holding you back?
  • How is an assumption different from the truth?
  • What would happen if you didn’t act on this opportunity?
• Use: To challenge comfort zones or encourage breakthroughs, used carefully to avoid defensiveness.

8. Future-Oriented Questions

These focus on envisioning the future and planning for it.

• Purpose: To inspire vision and long-term thinking.
• Examples:
  • Where do you see yourself in six months if you achieve this?
  • What would your ideal outcome look like in a year?
  • How can you prepare for this opportunity in the future?
• Use: To motivate and align current actions with long-term aspirations.

9. Scaling Questions

These use a numerical scale to assess progress, confidence, or commitment.

• Purpose: To quantify feelings or progress and identify next steps.
• Examples:
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you in achieving this goal?
  • Where are you now compared to where you were last month?
  • What would it take to move from a 5 to a 7 on this scale?
• Use: To measure progress or clarify priorities in a tangible way.

10. Hypothetical Questions

These explore “what if” scenarios to expand thinking or test possibilities.

• Purpose: To encourage creative thinking and explore alternatives.
• Examples:
  • What would you do if you had unlimited resources?
  • If fear wasn’t a factor, what would you try?
  • What might happen if you approached this differently?
• Use: To break free from limiting perspectives or spark innovation and change.

11. Clarifying Questions

These ensure the coach understands the coachee’s perspective or refines vague statements.

• Purpose: To ensure alignment and avoid miscommunication.
• Examples:
  • Can you explain what you mean by “success” in this context?
  • What specifically do you mean when you say you’re stuck?
  • Could you give an example of this challenge?
• Use: To maintain clarity and focus in the conversation.

12. Action-Oriented Questions

These questions prompt you commit to specific actions or next steps.

• Purpose: To translate insights into concrete plans.
• Examples:
  • What’s one action you can take this week to move forward?
  • Who can you reach out to for support on this?
  • How will you hold yourself accountable for this step?
• Use: To ensure progress and follow-through on goals.

13. Values-Based Questions

These connect your actions or goals to their core values.

• Purpose: To align decisions with personal beliefs and motivations.
• Examples:
  • How does this goal align with your core values?
  • What’s most important to you in this decision?
  • How does this choice reflect who you want to be?
• Use: To ensure decisions are meaningful and authentic.

14. Perspective-Shifting Questions

These encourage the coachee to see situations from different angles.

• Purpose: To broaden thinking and uncover new insights.
• Examples:
  • How might someone else view this situation?
  • What would your future self advise you to do?
  • If you were advising a friend in this situation, what would you say?
• Use: To challenge biases or limited perspectives.

Notes:

• Balancing Question Types: Effective coaching uses a mix of these question types, tailored to each person’s needs and the session’s goals. Overusing one type (e.g., closed questions) can limit the depth of the conversation.
• Context Matters: The best questions are context-specific, aligned with your goals, and delivered with empathy and curiosity.
• Listening is Key: Questions are most effective when paired with active listening, allowing the coach to adapt questions based on your responses.
• Are You Coachable? Sadly, not everyone is coachable. There are a number of reasons for this; however, for those few who fall into this category, coaching cannot work. These are generally people stuck in their ways and don’t want to budge.

Have a blessed rest of your day… questioning everything!